Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Oh Hollywood, Where Art Thou?

This week on The Broke and the Bookish... (Heh.. that sounds like a TV show intro. Kinda appropriate.) Anyway, this week on The Broke and the Bookish, the Top Ten Tuesday theme is "Books you'd like to see adapted into movies".

Awesome. I could rattle off 10 of those bad boys in no time... but instead, I'm going to do 5 stories that I think should be made into movies... and 5 that have been made into movies that should be re-made into better movies.

(PS. I apologize in advance for the length of this post.)

Make Me A Movie Of This!

1) Stephen King's Dark Tower series.
I would lovelovelove to see this on the big screen... BUT only if it was done right. Don't Harry Potter this up, Hollywood! (Yeah, I said it. What? See below.)
Anyway, this story is so epic, and has such amazing, realistic and fantastic characters that if they were to make it a movie, it would be AMAZING.

Casting suggestion: Hugh Laurie as Roland. Just think about it... Let it sink in a bit. You'll see I'm right.

2) Brandon Sanderson's Mistborn Trilogy.
Because Oh My Lord Ruler it is awesome. Seriously, if this is not yet in the works, it needs to be. It's a storyline that Hollywood could get behind, with amazing characters, and an interesting plot, and kick-ass magic. And I'm telling you, people would line up around the block to see it. Heck, if it's done right, I'd probably single-handedly help it top the box office lists.

Casting suggestion: Kate Beckinsale as Vin. Seriously, throw a mistcloak on her, and she's ready to go!

3) The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch.
OK... So, this is technically first in a series, but it works as a standalone too. And we all know that Hollywood loves a heist movie. And this would be a GOOD one.
If Ocean's Eleven's Badassery-Meter went to 11, it would be The Lies of Locke Lamora. Just sayin'.

Casting suggestion: Johnny Depp as Locke. Come on... the guy's a chameleon. He barely even has to try. 

4) American Gods by Neil Gaiman.
Why, why, why this this not a movie yet??! It is incredible. Shadow is amazing, and come on, this is a story begging to be brought to the film medium. Just ask the new gods. They'll tell you.
I would love to see how this would translate to the big screen... I think it would be amazing. It's such a FULL story, but worth the time and effort to adapt if done well.

Casting suggestion: Dustin Clare as Shadow.

5) The Book Thief by Markus Zusak.
This is a brilliant book with a unique voice and a beautiful, touching story. It would make an amazing movie.  I absolutely adored this book, and would absolutely love to see it in movie form. 

Casting suggestion: Chloe Moretz as Liesel Meminger
Bonus: Tim Curry as the voice of Death.
(Doesn't the very thought make you feel all shivery inside? No? Just me?)

I Call Do-Over!

Some movies HAVE been done before, but don't really live up to my expectations. Here's that list.

1) The Harry Potter Movies.
Yup. I think the casting is phenomenal, and really, I couldn't ask for better there. (Except Imposter Dumbledore. I don't like him AT ALL. Richard Harris RIP.) But, I think the movies failed in 3 major ways: 1. Adding unnecessary things (Waitress at the beginning of Half-Blood Prince, anyone?); 2. Re-ordering other things in convenient (for the moviemakers) but very wrong ways (Barty Jr in Little Hangleton? Lily's BROWN eyes in Deathly Hallows Pt. 2?? Come on!); and 3. Cutting out parts I loved (Winky!). I want movies that are truer to the books... So there!

2) The Tommyknockers by Stephen King.
This wasn't BAD... but they changed a lot of the storyline, and the end was just... What? Plus the special effects were... cheesetastic. The book isn't especially scary, at least I don't think so, but the movie was downright boring. They can do better. Come on... movies should not make me feel like I just had a frontal lobotomy.
Maybe that would have actually make it better. Hmmm...

3) The Princess Bride... JUST KIDDING! I was just trying to make sure you were still paying attention. ;)
Number 3 is really Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury.
The original adaptation of this one isn't bad... but I think it could be a lot better. The effects, or lack thereof in the original really don't do Bradbury's vision of the future justice. We can make it better. We have the technology. Just imagine what the advertising freeways, or the interactive TVs or, well, everything would look like with 2012 technology... Neato... :D

4) I Am Legend by Richard Matheson.
There have been 3 different movie versions of this book, and none of them have really done the book justice.
The Last Man on Earth starred Vincent Price (awesome) but there were a lot of details changed and it was pretty lame - not scary at all.
The Omega Man starred Charlton Heston, and it was... closer, but the story took a bizarre turn and was just... weird.
I Am Legend starred Will Smith, and I liked it a lot, but still think it could have been better, and closer to the book. The ending, especially.

5) Dune by Frank Herbert
This is a fantastic book - very smart, very large, and very intricate... but the movie... Wow. That was a hot, hot, stinky, congealed mess. I couldn't even make it all the way through it. I just... I just couldn't. I was afraid that it would ruin the book for me... and I read the book first.
There was so much bad that it was hard for me to choose an appropriate image... I didn't want to gross anyone out by posting Baron Harkonnen (don't google after eating), so I chose this one instead. This is a Guild Navigator... it enables long distance space travel using lightning spit out of its... "mouth"?
Yeah. Remake please!


  1. OMG!! Hugh Laurie as Roland?? This is one of those moments where I smack myself in the head and say "Why didn't I think of that?" ABSOLUTELY PERFECT.

    I love your list - especially your do-over section!! I'd love a remake of Tommyknockers!

    Check out my Top Ten / Teaser Tuesday!

  2. I LOVE the do-overs part! I nearly died when I saw Princess Bride on your list though. I adore both the book and the movie. Now there is a fine example of adapted a book and getting it right!

  3. I spy a Dr. House and a wonderful talented Chloe Moretz! Great picks! I'm a new follower as well!

    I would love it if you could check out my TTT!

  4. Jac - Isn't he though? I love Hugh Laurie. I think he'd be great as Roland! Can you just see him dancing the commala?? LOL

    Teacher - *giggle* I couldn't help it. I had to throw a little funny in there! Although... I would like to see updated versions of the R.O.U.Ss... ;)

    Michelle - Thanks! I've never seen anything that Chloe Moretz has been in yet, but she's remaking Carrie (which almost made my list until I saw that Hollywood was on it already) and she is in Let Me In based on Let The Right One In, which I want to see. I liked the book a lot, and the original Swedish film, so looking forward to it... if I ever stop being so lazy and go do it. ;)

  5. Oh yes, The Book Thief! And I don't know why I hadn't thought of Chloe Moretz as Liesl but she's perfect!

  6. Oh. How the heck did I NOT think of Depp for Locke in Lies of Locke Lamora. It would be... there are no words! Several of the other series' I've had on my TBR for quite a while but haven't started because I know the series is long and I would get distracted I think... Even so, I really should get my butt in gear and read things like the Mistborn series that everyone loves :/

    I did a couple of do-overs too, you're not the only one! I left Harry Potter out, because I just don't think they could EVER get it right for everybody, but I called do-over on Percy Jackson - Even if they don't get it *right* they can do waaaaaaaaaaay better than THAT pile of s***! lol. Great list!

  7. Kat - Glad you agree. I think she looks EXACTLY like what I pictured Liesel looking like.

    Anne - You're right about Harry, of course. I'm just a nitpicker about them. It's only out of love!! ;)

    I haven't seen The Lightning Thief movie though. Or Eragon for that matter, which from what I hear, should definitely be on my do-over list. LOL

    Definitely definitely recommend Mistborn though. It's amazing. :D

  8. I love that you put your casting suggestions. I too would love to see American Gods made into a movie.